Okay, Coffee. You Won

I spent all my life thinking coffee does not affect me. That I’m somehow immune to it.

The truth is, I simply don’t like it. I don’t drink it, and I don’t enjoy it. Coffee without milk is the worst thing I ever drank in my life, including, I don’t know, I drank all sorts of things many people won’t even dare to. Coffee is the worst thing I tried. Maybe if I durst to drink urine, coffee could be dethroned, and become second worst. But I’m just not sure on that one.

Yes, I tried crazy-ass expensive coffee. I tried all sorts of it, trying to understand why people drink it.

At some point in life, we people start realising that we are very different. And the taste is one of those things people would never agree on. Because, again, we are different.

I respect other people’s right and will to drink that beverage. It’s just not my cup of tea, so to say.

Yes, it’s still difficult to accept not everyone likes white tea.

Hello, people, are you in your right mind?!

My wife likes to drink black tea. To me, that’s the worst tea you can find. It’s what they drink in Russian prisons, for the lack of anything else, apparently. In my book, that’s the beverage for plebs. Which is — like coffee — impossible to bear without milk. Or cream.

That’s why I drink coffee, for milk. I prefer latte or latte macchiato, but rather just regular latte. The more milk the better. The fatter the milk, the better. The less coffee, the better. Coffee is a seasoning you milk, in my book. No need for a lot of it.

This month, we got this new fancy coffee machine, and being a gadget, I enjoy playing with it. Hnat enjoys it too. He played a bit less than me, though.

I started drinking way too much coffee. Today, I got three. Or four. Won’t recall. All lattes, obviously. Yet, probably 50 ml of coffee way too much for one glass. I was just too lazy to change the settings to less.

Now, is almost two at night, and I’m unable to get asleep for almost two hours. That’s considering my previous night was mostly sleepless, for other reasons.

Here’s my takeaways:

I’m in a very complicated personal war.

I’m living with a person who has huge eating disorder, and I’m married to her.

Same disorder developed in our daughter, but at this point she hunts sweets, and gets super creative about that. Which I hope against hope is just a kid thing. I don’t believe it’s possible to get worse than her mamma.

I’m constantly in the context of having no proper food, being stressed, exhausted, and surrounded by sweets. And now coffee.

My wife’s mother in a similar situation, with one exception: she lives unaware, and she sees that as a status symbol. Well, actually she might be right here, but her being tremendously stupid, so the tables are turned for her, and she naively believes that it’s a symbol of high status, while it’s the exact opposite.

I’m training my willpower all the time, but it’s rather exhausted and broken by this moment. All that is a very interesting experience that gives me many insights, but I’m paying the highest price for it, and now I have to make tremendous efforts to return back to normality.

That’s the biggest takeaway from this coffee machine misery.