Just another birthday wishes I missed.
About a couple of years back, I think, I had started taking a deliberate effort to ignore all these birthdays I know about.
I have an unusually strong memory on numbers, and it’s of no help here. I feel like I bother people rather than bring them some positive energy for free. It doesn’t cost me a penny. Yet, I’m getting more and more disappointed in people. They don’t take action to treat me similarly.
And the issue isn’t with some birthday wishes. Honestly, I give the minimum possible fucks about birthdays, and my birthday in the first place. Hence, I don’t care whether someone wished me something, or completely forgot about me.
What I’m bothered with is a completely different thing. It’s when all these people I remember about, and know their birthday dates —
because, again, I have very good memory on that dates and numbers, if I know someone’s birthday, more likely I’ll remember it till the rest of my life —
they give exactly zero fucks about mine.
I don’t expect them to start sending me postcards, virtual or real. I expect at least some recognition of my presence. If it’s not happening, well, so be it.
I know that today’s your birthday, and I could at least write. But I won’t. Because, why would I? It feels self-disrespectful, especially considering the fact that I could never care, and nothing ever would change. I’m just a kind person that happens to become less kind.